Some things are better left unsaid,
but I’ve always been the type to say what’s on my mind.
Ever since the day my grandma scolded me,
“Speak up or be spoken for.”
I let you speak for me for too long;
I let you set the pace;
I let you determine the tempo.
I was the cool girl along for the ride,
but the truth is
I’ve always wanted more.
Ever since July 23, 2009
when my body was awakened
to the touch of another.
A string of lovers ascended,
each one taking a piece of me with them
as they hurriedly redressed in the dark.
I’ve tried everything from celibacy to Jesus,
but those orgasms are addicting,
and this craving for connection,
I just can’t seem to shake.
The truth is it’s all on me.
My apologies for ever trying to force anyone
to see that my heart and mind are just as beautiful as my breasts,
to see that my spirit is just as touchable as my hips,
and to see that my love is just as fulfilling as my body.
The truth is that
it took a while for even me
to see my mind, body, and spirit
as one complete package.
Now I realize that the wholeness
for which I’d yearned
had to come from me all along.